By bonnie.

Boys. Boys. Boys. I love boys.

Being out of school for eight months I forgot about them. I was so wrapped up in the old heads that I forgot how to "flirt" as Renney would say. I forgot the thrill of a chase. I forgot how it felt to be wanted and pursued by someone who knows absolutely NOTHING about you. It feels nice. It feels GREEEEEAAAAAT. The problem with that is I often find myself getting caught up & catching feelings something that I must work on. Something that I am working on. Getting out of toxic relationships makes you feel like you know nothing and know everything at the same time. Not everyone is gonna be like my first. Not every niggas goal is to fuck. Not every boy is trife. I understand. I GET IT. Trust me I do.

Right now we got the fly boy & the realness. Fly boy is just that. Fly as fuck. Style is a ten. Face is a twelve. Everything is perfect. Perfect perfect perfect. Me being a crazy did the whole horoscope analysis on shorty and I'm not sure how to take the Libra&Capricorn compatibility just yet. I don't base my whole relationships off the Zodiac but I do take bits and pieces that prove relevance to the situation. He's gorgeous and we vibe. We vibe hard as fuck. I just see myself feeling like I'm pressing him when I text him sometimes and it's not him. Cause he always replies and he always has convo. I don't know, I'm weird. I been out the game so long, I feel like I lost my mojo "/ I don't want to come off as thirsty so I don't text him every single day, sometimes I take a while to reply and sometimes I just don't reply until the next day. Weird ass kindergarten shit like that. He's like the hipster boyfriend me and Nyasia pretended to have at the mall that one day. I don't know, I'm smitten.
I like the feeling.

Realness on the other hand is perfect in his own demeanor. Laid back. Nonchalant. Easy to converse with. I don't feel shy. I don't know seems like I've known him for awhile, I was even inclined to tell him about Jae. I don't know what it is exactly but it's a different feeling then from flyBoy. It's a more relaxed crush. A crush that doesn't matter if I hit him up first because he somehow will KNOW that I'm not thirsty. It's hard to explain but I like them both. That's all there is to it. I have two crushes. TWO ! They keep my mind off the bitch. They keep me sane. They keep me on my toes. They keep me looking in the mirror, like "You badd as fuhh shawty". They keep me feeling .... happy. I can deal with happiness. I like happiness. I'm not even looking for a boyfriend. I'm looking chillin with a whole buncha beautiful men, dating, mingling just enjoying the company. Just relaxing without having strings attached. I want strings attached eventually...won't front. But I think when you're friends first you have a better chance at being together for the right reasons rather then just jumping into a relationship to say you're in one. Friends - Best friends - Relationship. Having a relationship with your bestfriend would be awesome as fuck. Okay, I'm feeling a tad bit sappy...