By Smoovee.

2012 is about to be a very wishy washy year...or at least its starting off that way. My new years was ass being that me , Zu and Jeanica went with our last choice pick and settled for a kickback in Dacula which everybody got kicked out of at 12:30 but the host tried to play it off like she was kickin niggas out herself for them not moving the car out of her driveway but in actuality it was really her mother asking for her house back . Shit was lame anyway I ended up right back home snackin on finger food by 1am .

Last night...I analyzed a lot . Weed tends to do that to you . I noticed avatar was LOVING the crew and when his girlfriend came and damn near caught him leaving w/ 2 other girls he made it his duty to suck up by kissing her in public and making it known to every girl in the room that she was wifey . Being that I know avatar better than a lot of females I know "the kiss" wasn't just to keep his girl happy but to make the rest jealous therefore wanting him more . He once told me "everything I do has a reason behind it" leading me to over analyze everything he does or doesn't do. The people I spent the majority of my summer with trying to be everywhere they were and sacrificing my curfew and freedom for were all at Zu's hotel kickback last night . The same guy I was head over heels for this summer was just an average joe to me last night . My feelings for him are no more ! I finally have it embedded in my head , just because you lost your virginity to them does not mean you belong with them ! Its a trap ladies don't fall into that mindset because if your situation is remotely similar to mine, you'll be chasing an unworthy guy who doesn't want you .

Jeanica and I were dicked over for our weed cuz no way in hell we smoked 4 blunts . Niggas thought cuz we were high we wouldn't notice shit . NEVER AGAIN! Vibin to songs I haven't heard since my departure 4 months ago , and saying hi to people I haven't seen or heard from since August was all I could do in my daze . Shit was slower, I managed to see every guys reaction to "slut twin" in the party and found myself feeling bad for her under my high giggles . If I was considered the hoe of Dacula or the hoe of anywhere really I'd pull a Tiara Paine and never come back again or go farrrrr away from school where nobody knows my ass . *shrugs* maybe home is where the heart is .

As much as I found myself yearning for home when I was at school being here for a month has made me realize I made the RIGHT decision when choosing Howard University to continue my education . I love all of my friends here but I feel somewhat out of place out here now . Everybody told me this shit would happen, but its not the same . And the crew I was practically living with over summer has all turned against each other , only surviving relationship out of that is my nigga Suzie .   Fuck it , everything happens for a reason .